“I’m the most humble person I know.” The claim is one of the most hilarious and contradictory statements of all time. Only two types of people say that phrase. Those hoping to give a good laugh and those so young in the Christian faith they do not yet see just how not-humble they really are.
But the reality is we all make that statement without realizing it. While God eventually reveals to those young in the faith just how sinful they (we) are, our pride remains and sometimes shows itself in similarly contradictory ways. Though it becomes a bit harder to spot, it is still just as silly.
“I’ve chosen to no longer speak to my [insert family member’s name or lifelong good friend] because they do not love me well.”
Now, a choice like that may be the absolutely right choice in certain scenarios. But there are instances where this choice is much closer to, “I’m the most humble person I know.” Let me explain by translating what this statement could actually mean: “I’ve chosen to no longer speak to my [insert family member’s name or lifelong good friend] because they do not love me as well as I love them. They do not meet my standards of love, like I do. They do not fulfill the law of love, like I do. I am better at loving others than they are. So, I’m choosing to not love them.”
Do you see the irony? This might sting but it could even mean this: “They do not love me unconditionally, which is a condition that must be met for my unconditional love.”
This is what happens when we live by the law, when we live not according to the reality and principal of grace but by the reality and principal of measuring up, meeting standards, and doing the law. To be sure, the law of God is our authoritative guide. We ought to do the Law. And a part of listening intensely to the Law is constantly seeing how short we fall from doing it. When we think we are doing it, we say silly things like, “I’m the most humble person I know” or “The condition of my love for someone else is that they love me unconditionally.”
When all we have is the law and therefore the pursuit of measuring up, then all we have for others is the call for them to measure up or else. Meet my demands of love or else. Meet my demands of commitment or else. Meet my demands of [fill in the blank] or else. When living by the law, we don’t want to look in the mirror because the whole world will come crumbling down upon us when we realize we have failed to meet the very standards we set upon others.
Life does not come from the law because we can’t fulfill it. We don’t love like we are commanded to. But thank God, our life is by grace...alone. Not grace plus our ability to do some of the law, some of the time. Just grace.
Life by law says ridiculous things like, “I love people unconditionally and therefore set upon them the condition of loving me unconditionally.” Life by grace says better things like, “Sadly, I don’t love people unconditionally because I have so far to go in becoming like Jesus. God’s Law tells me that clearly. And I surely don’t expect other sinners to love someone as difficult as me unconditionally. But Jesus loves unconditionally. So, I’ll keep going in the grace of God. I’ll keep loving by the grace of God. I’ll keep forgiving. And I’ll keep asking for forgiveness for my conditional, fickle love.”
May the law guide us but may the grace of God assure us, root us, and actually change us.
